


I Thought You Knew Better

by ElizaXSpears



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 04:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5854219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaXSpears/pseuds/ElizaXSpears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He tried to ignore it. He tried to push any dark thoughts out of his mind, any horrible memories of that hellish place but the longer he kept them repressed, the larger the break down when his walls finally crumbled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought You Knew Better

**Author's Note:**

> Done for a prompt over on tumblr

He tried to ignore it. He tried to push any dark thoughts out of his mind, any horrible memories of that hellish place but the longer he kept them repressed, the larger the break down when his walls finally crumbled.

Sebastian had seen this about to happen but like Joseph, tried to ignore it and hope his partner would be able to just make it through. Both were receiving therapy and Joseph was taking medicine prescribed by the doctor to help with those thoughts; Sebastian could see the medicine was beginning to have no affect.

It came to a head one night with Joseph in the washroom, staring at himself in the mirror, eyes constantly flicking between himself and the his gun he laid on the counter. He’d put the barrel to his head before, but…did that even count as a real event? The entirety of STEM felt very distant now, like a horrible nightmare blurred by too much paranoia that it could eventually become real. Sebastian had told me that yes, STEM did happen; his bruises and scars all the proof he needed but unlike Sebastian, Joseph did have an physical scars. No bullet wound, scrapes, nothing but foggy memories.

Swallowing, he reached for his gun. His gloveless hands began to shiver and his palms grew sweaty as he, again, placed the barrel to his temple. He closed his eyes and stroked his finger over the trigger but unlike STEM he didn’t have the words to back up his action. He wasn’t saving Sebastian from himself anymore. If he did this, he’d just be saving himself from, well, himself.

He was unaware of how long he stood there, eyes squeezed shut with a loaded gun to his head but it was long enough for Sebastian to find him. There was a brief moment of shock in the older mans eyes before he wrestled the weapon from Joseph’s hands again, throwing the damned thing as far as he could. “What the fuck were you thinking?!” he demanded, his hands gripping tightly to Joseph’s shoulders.

There were no words coming from Joseph’s lips as he tried to speak. Perhaps it was because he didn’t have an excuse. “I’m not losin’ you.” he yanked Joseph into a hug, squeezing him protectively. Joseph could only return the embrace and despite all the hell that came from a mental hospital, Sebastian thought it was best to have Joseph placed in one for his own safety and to get him any help he needed. He felt guilt when Joseph was literally forced from him when he saw where he was, but he knew this was for the best. “I’ll visit every day.” Sebastian assured.

“Don’t worry Joseph. You’re going to get help here.”

“No. No, Sebastian, please!”

The stab to his heart nearly made him double over when Sebastian just assured him again that he’d be fine and returned to his vehicle. “He’ll come back! He’s going to come back! He’ll try to get me to kill you again!” he shouted in his mind as again, his moth wouldn’t voice anything. Unfortunately, Joseph’s actions only told the medical staff that Sebastian was the cause of Joseph’s trauma.

_________________________

 

“What the hell do you mean I can’t see him?!” Sebastian demanded. The answer shocked him. “Me? You think…I did this?!” he slammed his hands onto the counter. “We’ve been through literal hell and back and you’re telling me I can’t see him because I fucking did this to him?! You have no damn idea what did this to him and if I told you, I know you’d put me right in there with him!” his hands turned to fists as he was still denied access to his partner.

Of course, Sebastian’s outbursts reached down the hall to Joseph’s room, the man laying limp in the bed as he wished to just forget any of this happened and return to Sebastian. Even hearing his parter was hard for him now, knowing Sebastian willingly put him in the place where STEM had originated from. Did he even think this idea through?…it was Sebastian, surely he didn’t.  
His hands grasped at the blankets as Sebastian continued to demand to see him; he needed to see Sebastian.

Throwing off the blankets, he stumbled from his room and insatiately locked eyes with Sebastian. Shoving away the staff that had come to take him away, he ran right to Joseph and embraced him. “Bastards.” he grumbled. “I’m sorry Joseph. I’ll get you outta he-” the staff had forcefully ripped Sebastian away while others tried leading Joseph back to his room. “Joseph, just tell them I didn’t do this to you!” But Joseph glanced away, fighting against what he wanted to say and what he knew would be blurted out. He knew if he told them Sebastian didn’t, they’d question him about how he got into this state in the first place but having to tell anyone about STEM was a nightmare all on its own and, maybe, with him here, Sebastian could have his own life back, not having to worry about him. “Joseph?” He remained silent still, deciding he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. If Sebastian believed this was best for him, he’d remain here.

Ignoring Sebastian, Joseph willing followed the staff back to his room and this time, the door was closed and locked. Dropping to his bed, he lay there nearly lifeless as he resigned to this being his life. STEM had caused this, Ruvik had caused this and there was noting he could do about the past but hopefully, he could save Sebastian’s future by no longer being a nuisance. He loved Sebastian and maybe instead of those STEM nightmares, he could dream of what future he would have had with his partner if none of this had ever happened…yes, that was a pleasant thought as his eyes fell closed and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
